teretbaby's turf and thoughts Ü

almost bohol

arrrggh! this sucks bigtime ... you know what i should be doing right now - i should be packing my bag and getting ready for our bohol escapade but instead, here i am, both eyes glued to the computer, just downloading stuff again, crazy things flying in and out of my flipped out mind, dreaming of stepping into the sandy beach of panglao, lounging and reading a book under a coconut tree, taking gazillion snapshots, reuniting with my long lost brothas and sistahs - that would be the little ones - tarsiers - lol! hahaha! we're related thru our huge round eyes yah know and soooo trying my very best to accept the fact that we can't push for this bohol trip ... waaaaaahhhh! that freakin' airline should have allowed us to cancel the ticket, in that way, i won't have this longing  feeling that we can still go but then again, so many things have been planned ahead so it really is a no no! waaaaahhh! im am half baked already into accepting it, by tomorrow, i have no choice but to fully accept it ... waaaaahhh! *sob sob sob* ohh well, its payday anyway and im on vl, might as well keep myself busy with other stuff, i do have a lot of things to do and finish, ill make this free time of mine very productive. but i am still craving for bohol ... waaaaahhh! * still sobbing *

reality check

so okay, my short but sweet laluz getaway is over and im back in the city which means i need to jolt my way back to reality again, im talking about work, hahaha! so im done with my initial interview ( for the third time - haha! ) you would think i should be so good at this, it's the same banana, they would say, i know it is, but for some freakin' and freakish reason, i cannot seem to master the art of "doing great in an interview", i could have done way better, i feel like i cannot express myself well, i feel like i am not giving justice to how good and great i really am. i believe in myself so much that i know i'll do so freakin' great, but i need to let them know that, not all of them knows how i work, not all of them knows my capabilities and potentials and it is my role to close that gap ... tsk tsk ... i am such a looser when it comes to interviews ... haaaaay!  ohh well, with how things went, i think i might flunk again, craps! hahahaha! i think i should enroll myself to summer school specializing in interviews, hahaha! if such a school exist.

salty breeze

just came back from laluz batangas - my first summer getaway with good friends. it was great, sqnicksters is a very fun and warm bunch ( loveya guys! )

.... feeling the warm salty breeze on my face and at the sight of the vast blue ocean, i knew right away that i will have a very relaxing time and i did. i love the whole setup and ambiance of the place, there were lots of cabanas to accommodate beach crazy and sleep deprived individuals like me, hahaha! i think i was asleep most of the time, it was the ocean breeze who put a spell on me, i think he or she was whispering to my ears, telling me things like "go to sleep teret, you know you want to" hahaha! gosh, it was so soothing and i just had to give in. anyway, aside from sleeping and sleeping some more, i enjoyed the company of friends and alcohol, music and laughter, sun and sand, hugs and kisses, emotional yet inspiring talks, chips and shakes and of course endless snapshots of memories frozen in time.

looking forward to more fun trips guys! ciao!

I owe the world an attitude of gratitude.

I want things done! This is what I say to myself over and over, I had an extensive list of things to do and things to accomplish during my so-called vacation and so far, I have only crossed out a few on my list, I hate it, I will end up cramming again! Maybe it was because of my fever and laryngitis, I just had to start my vacation by staying in bed for a couple of days, it simply altered my mood and energy, yeah, it was the fever and laryngitis and not me, I’d like to think of it that way, it just makes more sense to me that’s all. (hahaha)

So anyway, I am feeling way better now, I have my sweet voice back and I am ready to sing again (hahaha) and I don’t feel tired anymore so that’s sweet. This year is looking truly great for me (every year is), I mean, I am okay, my mom and dad are both healthy and happy, everyone in the family are healthy and happy as well (I hope!) I have my friends, I have a job and I am earning, I have food to eat, I can walk, talk, run …. maybe what I am trying to say is, everyday, every minute, every second, there is always something to be thankful for, blessings come in countless forms, sometimes its so obvious and visible yet at times, we have to experience pain in order to see it. It’s about acceptance. It’s about believing. It’s about having the right perspective and attitude towards life. Life is a journey indeed.

I say goodbye with this lovely quote: “For today and its blessings, I owe the world an attitude of gratitude.”

Ciao! Ü

welcome 2007

i was never great nor outstanding when it comes to writing, i am a huge fan though, i think the last decent paper that i wrote was about the importance of sharks in the ecosystem way back when i was in 3rd year ... BUT, i can definitely jot down things - drawings of smileys and flowers, $%!!$* and grammatical errors included (hahahahaha)! i absolutely enjoy scribbling down all the great things that happened in my life, all the wonderful blessings that i am deeply thankful for, a few of the not so nice things that ive gone through and learned from, all the best and unforgettable moments that i have shared with my loved ones - my family and friends, all the funny encounters i've had with random people, just about everything that i can write down to simply remember what good ol' teret's life is about and just to have something to look back to when i reach the tender age of 70 or something (aside from my tons of photo snapshots of course! - hahahaha!)

it's year 2007 now, everything is moving so fast (back in december was my busiest, whew! i kept saying that i want the world to slow mo for me for a while so i can just chill and enjoy the moment), things constantly changing - even dreams and goals are changing, i feel blessed just to be around, i am welcoming year 2007 with much love, joy, peace, happiness and positive energy. and i am leaving 2006 with great memories to keep and with so much gratitude to the Lord - YOU ROCK bigtime! my deepest thanks for everything! it was one beautiful year! ÜÜÜ

fix you - coldplay

When you try your best but you don't succeed
When you get what you want but not what you need
When you feel so tired but you can't sleep
Stuck in reverse.

And the tears come streaming down your face
When you lose something you can't replace
When you love someone but it goes to waste
Could it be worse?

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

And high up above or down below
When you're too in love to let it go
But if you never try you'll never know
Just what you're worth

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

Tears stream, down on your face
When you lose something you cannot replace
Tears stream down on your face
And I..

Tears stream, down on your face
I promise you I will learn from my mistakes
Tears stream down on your face
And I..

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you.

october baby

For those who were born on october

OCTOBER: Loves to chat.  Loves those who loves them. Loves to takes things at the  center. Inner and physical beauty. Lies but doesn't pretend. Gets  angry often. Treats friends importantly. Always making friends. Easily hurt but recovers easily. Daydreamer. Opinionated. Does not care of what others think. Emotional. Decisive. Strong clairvoyance. Loves to travel,  the arts and literature. Touchy and easily jealous. Concerned. Loves outdoors. Just and fair. Spendthrift. Easily influenced. Easily loses  confidence. Loves children. 

Smokes and Ashes - Tracy Chapman

I'd heard rumors and I'd heard talk
About the trail you'd left of broken hearts
About the sea of tears too wide to cross
But a little bad press has never scared me off
So I burned a path to figure out
How to get me some of what you got

I've got a red hot heart
If the talk is true your's is the same
And we should be together
And let our passions fan love's flame

When I looked for you I almost passed you by
You were so cool and calm
I thought my friends had lied
But I thought so much reserve must make you wild inside
It was there and then that I knew
I had to get some of what you got

I've got a red hot heart
If the talk is true your's is the same
And we should be together
And let our passions fan love's flame

I thought I'd won your heart when I held you hand in mine
I thought it was true love the way we complemented each other
But my right is your wrong
And when you're right then I'm left with nothing
Your light and your heat have all been spent
Leaving only smoke and ashes
Only smoke and ashes baby

I've got a red hot heart
And your heart's as blue as the blood in your veins
I say there's fire down below
You say it's only smoke and ashes baby

I'm crying all the time
Salty stinging tears
And mourning for the past carbon-dated years
But knowing now for certain that you were always right
Because if a breeze could blow you out of my life
It's only smoke and ashes baby
Only smoke and ashes baby

I've got a red hot heart
And your heart's as blue as the blood in your veins
I say there's fire down below
You say it's only smoke and ashes baby

I was blinded by devotion
My unwavering love for you
So blinded that I thought all your lies were true
But now I know for certain since you've gone away
It was just a smoldering fire I mistook for a blaze
Only smoke and ashes baby

I've got a red hot heart
And your heart's as blue as the blood in your veins
I say there's fire down below
You say it's only smoke and ashes baby
Only smoke and ashes baby, baby ...

lets talk about work, shall we?

lets talk about work, shall we?

how can a hard working individual maintain his or her momentum and 
dedication towards the work the he or she enjoys and value? how does 
someone cope up with all the challenges and frustrations? how hard 
should it take to prove that you can do it and how long will he or she be 
willing to wait for the right time and moment? how can someone know 
if its time to leave and move on ... how and how and how?

ill share something ...

back in july, i wanted and felt that i should earn that promotion,
i was geared up, i was more than ready, i was confident, i 
believed in myself, people believed in me, i was on my third year, i 
asked for it (jokingly as an advanced birthday gift), i knew it was going 
to be my time, i just knew .....

i was dead wrong ... i did not get it ... my heart sank so deep ... 
down and embarrased ... took me days to drain myself of the emotion 
that i was feeling till there were no more tears to shed ...

sometimes when you want something really bad, worked hard for it
and you believed so much in yourself and just don't get it, whatever it may be,
the pain is just unbearable ... for quite sometime, way longer for some.

you contemplate on things, things that are beyond your understanding, 
you question yourself and the people around you, you think of the 
craziest things just to take the easiest way out, you search for answers 
and reasons ... i've been there, done that and most importantly ... 
LEARNED so much from the experience itself ...

now i am looking back, laughing at myself for being such an emotional 
freak back then, but hey we're only humans, we are entitled to all the 
craziness of the human life. no regrets, at least i gave myself the 
chance to prove what i am capable of and to go for something i was
deeply passionate about ... LIFE is a JOURNEY worth taking!
crazy but still beautiful. you stumble, you get up! failures does not measure
who you are.

so now, there's this new opening for the exact same position that i've 
been gearing for ... opportunities does not come along that often, we 
have to grab what we can but this time, i ain't grabbing ... i need to 
begin climbing and building the drive and passion that i once had, do i 
want it? YES! do i think i will be great at it? challenging but YES!
but am i up for the emo ride? NO!  am i driven? NO! ... ill be ready when the right time comes along! i  know myself and just like what my good friend said, he thinks im brave 
and bold enough to know myself really well, my limits as well as my 
strengths.

weird to put it down in writing, but i do like to thank all my friends and 
colleagues who believed in me, just the idea and all the boost is so 
uplifting for me! love you all! to my friends who shared they're 
shoulders for me to lean and cry on, thank you so much from the bottom
of my heart!!!

crave

nine in the evening, cruising along the roadway, damp from the recurring rain yet sparkling with the reflection coming from the parallel lights on the street, cars and buses swerving and honking around and the huge shiny metallic replica of the globe just right ahead, the stop light shifting from amber to red, listening to classic pop jazz, with my favorite red coca cola jacket keeping me warm and the cool breeze flowing through my face .... it was pure bliss, it hit me again like a lightning strike, strong and majestic - the realization of how blessed i am! Ü i crave for these moments! often, the bustling life clouds the big and small things that i should be thankful for Ü

backpacking anyone?

been eyeing on this ultra cool northface bag for weeks now, ive got this weird thinking that ...... the moment i get to own one is more of like a sign that i might be traveling here and there more often than i could have imagined, it's one step to my ultimate dream of traveling the globe *ka-ching* ÜÜÜ

music & nostalgia = time machine

what makes music nostalgic? i really don't know but im thankful for it, a single tune's ability to make you recall or yearn for the past feels very magical to me. imagine how bone thugs and harmony's "crossroads" brings me back to my rowdy highschool days and how david benoit's "key to you" vividly transports me back to the fun and happy times i had with my family - MuSic is my so-called time machine!!! i cannot imagine life without it, it'll be unbearable.

touched Ü

http://vermilionsky.blogs.friendster.com
a moment of gratitude

i feel a bit squeamish at the idea but i know i must return the favor, and that is the right thing to do. actually i have been meaning to write something about this wonderful person at work and because of my usual tendencies for procrastination, it just completely slipped my mind.

i know. excuses.

well, she was the first person who greeted me with that easy familiar grin as soon as i came up the 26f flight of stairs, and her cheery presence settled me in somehow within that five minutes before login.

later that day i went up to 27f and she was there with some colleagues, and out of nowhere she mentions my blog, and she tells me how funny it is to her and she goes on about how she likes my style of narrating stories.

i went warm all over and in that moment, i was truly glad i have come back to the fold again.

truth is, it has taken me a very long time to write personally again. to write about me and my thoughts about what i see, smell, hear, touch, and feel. although i have always had ideas about a good book, a good storyline or an exciting plot, i never find time to see them typed or printed. always waiting for the muse to inspire me, always waiting for the right mood.

yeah, another excuse to play the stereotype.

but seriously, i want to thank you, teret.

July 07, 2006  | Permalink | Comments (0)

one hilarious xanga post

i was reading my xanga blog site a while ago and i stumbled upon this old posting of mine, dated june 22 of last year ..... i was an avid blogger back then, i wrote almost everything that came to my mind, however i was never really good in the "writing department" - i never had structure ... reading it again was hilarious! hahahaha! get a glimpse if you may ... im more than happy to share ...

Wednesday June 22, 2005 - 08:26am

rant! rant! rant!

               

 

whatta an extremely tiring day! i can't even move my fat legs anymore man! i swear, id never commute again, hahaha! if it weren't for the people im with -leilei, vinnie and benedict, heck, i wouldn't know what to do, thanks guys! thanks mommy leilei for keeping me company! huggies! commonwealth oh commonwealth, why do you have to be so freakin' far? you're slowly killing me! AS IN! ayaw ko na! ang layo layo! fudge fudge fudge talaga! today, the shuttle service left us 10 minutes before 3:30, whats that all about? we had to walk under the scorching sun via the roofless overpass/passover churva! hahaha! the bus ride ate up almost one and a half hours just for us to reach good ol' ortigas, the man on my right has putok all over him! waaaaahhhh! torture! the whole walk was a killer, add up the sun and the pollution, san ka pa? teploks! good thing mrt was almost empty and it was cold there, when i reached ayala, i had to walk some more to the terminal only to find out that the line for bf resort-las pinas bound vans were longer than three mama anacondas, gosh! the rain poured its heart out like there's no tomorrow, was waiting in line for nearly 45 minutes to an hour, no movements at all, add up the man in front of me who smelled like datu puti suka, OMIGOSH! torture diba?!?!?!?! i think people were even looking at me coz' i placed a huge ball of tissue up my nose to protect myself from inhaling the odor of the foul smelling guy!!!! heeeeeyyuuucccckkkk!!! forgive me for my sentence construction, i just wanna rant and rant and rant!!! i ended up watching monster-in-law (which was so funny!) while waiting for my ride, got home 11pm and i am going to sleep now coz' im so so so tired and my legs are killing me, i can't move 'em! help! hayyy! whattaday! goodnyters! teretbaby OUT!

               

                   

Wednesday June 22, 2005 - 08:26am (PDT)  

goof and fool

it's fun to goof around and make a fool of yourself once in a while ...... we are entitled to it afterall Ü

disgusted

it has been said that in a lifetime, countless people will walk in and out of your life ... each one will always leave something for you to cherish ... for the longest time, i have encountered very few individuals who really disgust me, i do not enjoy loathing, i hate the idea of myself being nauseated by a certain someone ... growing up, i have established a technique to combat this emotion in order to live a life guided by the principles i believe in, one of which is to be at peace with myself and with others - serenity and harmony should always be maintained - ive succeeded in my own little world, at least one way or the other. but once in a blue moon, a force so disgusting and nauseating can jolt your peaceful and "just chillin" self leaving you absolutely outraged and angry ... so beware and stay away from these individuals, mean people will always be mean (unless they change - for real) - they will get their karma in no time *wink* JUST CHILL Ü

devour

realizing that the thing you fear most is devouring you alive can be one of greatest challenges in life - i am struggling! (never thought i was this weak, never!)

unwind

left all the sentiments i had been worrying about and managed to set my mind and body to enjoy and have fun under the sun with all of my good friends - it worked! i had a great time, i got to unwind and enjoy the company of my friends whom i shared laughters and conversations with plus a seemingly never ending picture taking ( my current addiction ) hahahaha!

jumbled

so many thoughts pouring in and out of my mind, countless things to do and accomplish - i am crazed. the easy going and laid back "ME" is slowly perishing, i need to pull myself together before i begin tumbling down the drain and become another tragic case of promising people gone completely insane.

the one

finding the "one" in each other. yesterday, i just witnessed how magical love is, best wishes maqui and carla! Ü have a great journey ahead Ü

running on empty

i need to vent .... check this out ... i cannot stress enough how stressed i am ... funny! i swear never to travel with an almost empty gas tank, freakin' slex was jammed this morning, it was a shocking sight, just imagine my fear of running out of gas in the middle of a bumper to bumper situation with all the honking and swerving trucks and cars ... i was in total panic mode (praying and cursing at the same time, just imagine the irony in that, hahaha) and had to shut off the aircon and radio thinking it would save some precious gas and actually took a detour somewhere just to find the nearest gas station ... arrgghhhh! it was flaming hot, it was crazy, i had no idea where i was, i had to stop and stop and stop just to ask for directions ...  arrgghhhh! so much precious time wasted ... stupid me *toink*, i swear, it'll never happen again ... my mom was absolutely right after all, she always reminded me to fill up the tank because you can never tell the traffic .... sweeeeeet!!! .....  mothers really knows whats best Ü

PriCeLesS

a dirt free, perfectly arranged yet empty living room is what i saw while i was lying on the couch unconsciously staring at the tube and flipping through the channels ... my mind happily drifting, filled with all the happy faces of the people i treasure most, simply reminiscing on the wonderful and happy time our family have spent together during the past two weeks - PRICELESS! time truly flies, way too fast you begin to think that 24 hours is not enough for a day. i have to be honest, my heart is sinking right now, i am sad, i miss everyone so much, i miss the idea of us being complete - laughing and cracking jokes, dining and sharing great stories, travelling, singing, dancing all together ... i just miss everyone! i can't turn back time nor hop into a time machine and just rewind everything so i could savor each moment, it doesn't work like that but i always wished it did, instead i will thank the LORD right now for letting each moment fall into place, it was a marvelous and harmonious get together which would have never been possible without YOU ! thank you so much! Ü

life goes on! is what i always say to myself ... this unforgettable reunion is another great and priceless page in my book Ü ... and there's more to look forward to!

meanpeople=sandpapers

when mean people hurt you, think of them as sandpapers, they may rub and scratch you painfully but eventually you'll end up smooth and polished while they end up worn out. Ü

.... so true right? think about it!

deeds Ü

it is not the one great deed that defines who you are, it is the little good things you do to others day by day that count ... people may not notice but GOD does Ü